A year ago, as we celebrated Valentines with a little living-room photo shoot and Cecilia slyly pulled herself up to the coffee table and
successfully downed a few chocolates without me noticing while I photographed Marcela, I never imagined that today my heart would be different because of her; that I would love differently and learn to communicate that love differently.
It started months before with my mother commenting every time she visited that she was sure Cecilia couldn't hear anything. I kept telling her that maybe she didn't respond to her because she wasn't speaking Spanish to her. Cecilia always turned to me when I spoke to her. At her one year well-child visit, her pediatrician asked how many words she was saying. At the time I believe she said papa and agua. Very few for a one-year old. The doctor quickly wrote us a referral to have her hearing checked and have her assessed for any developmental delays. I was crossing my fingers that the repeated ear infections she'd had meant that she needed tubes in her ears and that with a quick fix, she'd be hearing clearly and thus speaking clearly. Within a few weeks, we had her hearing checked and it was perfect. No problems there. However, the early intervention specialists diagnosed her with a speech delay. They assigned her an occupational therapist and we were to begin therapy. I was in denial. I was confused. And
why an
occupational therapist if she was performing fine in every area but speech? Why not a speech therapist? Apparently there wasn't one available at the time. So after a few visits and observations from that therapist and comments that perhaps it was too early to tell if Cecilia was really delayed, I canceled the services. She'd picked up a few more words and was babbling more. I told them I'd watch her through the summer and that if I felt she really needed the help I'd contact them again.
[A few months later] One summer afternoon, I was doing my daily blog reading and cleaning out my reader of articles I'd never read, just clicking the trash button as quickly as I could. And then for some odd reason an article that I had saved months earlier (that would have not meant a thing to me had I read it the day it was published) stood out to me and I stopped deleting and started reading. A photographer I followed in Ohio had written an article about her son with Apraxia of Speech and how at the age of three or four he'd finally been able to say "mom" and what a monumental moment that was for her. Something struck at my heart. I googled Apraxia of Speech and began reading diagnosis, symptoms and treatment. I found that Cecilia had many of the symptoms. Things I'd never thought of began making sense. I only remember one time where she really babbled. She had a hard time swallowing for quite some time. She often tripped and fell. She could make some sounds one day and not the next. Tears ran down my cheeks. I knew that I hadn't happened upon this article by chance.
So, I called the early intervention specialists and set up an appointment again. This time I insisted that we work with a
speech therapist. We began speech therapy right away and one thing they suggested was signing with her. Since we have begun signing, she has picked up about 25 words and 25 signs and is much more confident in communicating - sometimes making up her own signs to communicate. Emotionally it has been very hard to see such a smart little girl struggle to communicate and be so frustrated. I recognize that her ability to communicate now depends greatly on my ability to learn
another language and teach it to her as I go as well.
We have felt many tender mercies up to this point: Simple things like Marcela's agility for language - I often turn to her to double check the meaning of a new sign; people we don't even know offering signing dvds to us; a wonderful speech therapist who recognizes she needs to train us to train Cecilia; and a new co-worker who is fluent in sign! I know that God would not have given us Cecilia if we couldn't provide what she needs, but it is definitely a stretching and growing process. I have had many doubts along the way. I am so grateful that He has entrusted us with such a strong little spirit and pray that I will seek the strength I need to be the mother and teacher I need to be for her. Thank you to all of our family and friends that have been so supportive and have been the cheerleaders on the sidelines of this game of life.
XO,
Daisy
